Lost

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and have come to the conclusion that, although I'm only 20, I'm going through my mid-life crisis. I guess I'm just in a rush, I don't know. Since I'm not in school at the moment I spend a lot of time just in the house by myself reading or watching Grey's Anatomy or A Very Potter Musical/Sequel over and over. While I enjoy me time as much as the next person, I'm bored. 

Also, this week I ventured out to Valparaiso, a city here in Indiana that I really love btw. I don't know what it is about it but I just think it's the cutest little downtown square and I love going there. Anyways, I found this amazing bakery Designer Desserts Bakery. First of all, the shop itself is awesome. It's like my head exploded onto the walls and decor. 

I mean, a dinosaur eating a cupcake? Hello, I fell in love before I even tried the cupcakes. Then I tried the cupcakes.

 This is a Pink Champagne cupcake. I also like to call it Heaven. It is seriously the most delicious cupcake I have ever tasted. Plus I like the breast cancer awareness decorations :)
We also got a half-dozen to bring home and share. Because they are large and it is almost impossible to eat your way through a whole one of these by yourself.

Delicious.

Ok, so you may be asking me what this has to do with my, for lack of a better name, mid-life crisis. Here's what it has to do with it. How freaking awesome would it be to own a cupcake shop like this one? I love baking cupcakes and they always turn out pretty tasty (or at least they have so far). Then I remember the past two years I've spent taking education classes and all that money I've spent. And I remember that I have no knowledge whatsoever about business. Also there's the fact that I really like going to substitute at the local elementary schools. I would also loveeeeeeeee to be able to go somewhere. Anywhere. I've never been anywhere (unless you count the Florida trip I took when I was 4 that I don't remember, and I don't) and it makes me so sad. Almost everyone I know has been somewhere. 

Then on top of all that, I feel so alone. I don't know what it is because I'm not really alone all that much (I suppose 6 hours a day is a pretty big chunk of time but I'm asleep for some of it) but I feel like my friends down at school have just forgotten about me and moved on (with the exception of two lovely ladies that I talk to everyday). And other than them, all my other friends are either in school or have a job. And I sit here all day doing nothing.

Also, I've just thought of what I'm really going through. I think it's an identity crisis. And I'm telling you now instead of just renaming it throughout the post because I want you to know that I figured it out while typing all this out. I just don't know who I am or what I want anymore. Right now I'm not a student, I'm not employed, I don't have a boyfriend, I don't see my friends all that much. And I complain a lot. I do know that. 
So, what do I do now? I don't know what to do with my life from here. I'm at a standstill. 
I've been listening to this song a lot lately and I decided to share this cover with you instead of the original because I really like it. Plus I really like the cover artist.

This song makes me feel slightly better and I can forget about all my crap because I love to sing it really loud.